A Bump in the Road

I suppose something was bound to happen. I hit a bump in the road and fell off my bike. It took 1 week, 3 'hospitals', (the first one had no doctor) 5 excrutiating jeep rides, 6 doctors and $4 worth of x-rays to discover that my shoulder was dislocated.

Relocating it was a scene Monty Python couldnt have done better. First they took me to a crumbling tile room in the surgery department. Looking at all the knives laid out on an old bedsheet, I tried using sign language to ask if they were going to operate. Everyone laughed. It wasn't reassuring.

After some frantic insisting they brought in a nurse who spoke some basic English. Her translation skills were lacking. I had to keep asking her what the doctor was saying and she would respond with "he is discussing your health" or "just trust the doctor". I hit the roof when I saw the syringe. I asked her what it was. She looked at me like I was stupid and said "its medicine." "But what is it going to do to me?!" I shreiked. Again she looked at me in disbelief. "Its going to make you feel better" she said. I had better luck trying to communicate with the non English speaking doctor. It was novacain. (later I would laugh with some tourists who were travelling on horseback. They only ever give their horses 10mg of novacain. I got 20mg.)

With a completely numb shoulder I laid face down on the rickety metal operating table. THey tied a piece of gauze around my wrist and hung rusty 45 kilo weights to it. 'STVAT MINOOT' (5 minutes) the doctor shouted! 5 minutes turned into a 45 minute circus. I was shouting that my hand was turning purple and was quite uncomfortable. The nurse was telling me I was not a patient person. Then I discovered that my arm was longer than the table legs and I could just rest the weights on the floor. Then I tried to explain the situation. (not easy) Then they tried to figure out how to make the table taller. (also not easy) Instead they put pillows under me. This was also difficult because I still had weights tied to one arm. No, I could not sit up! The doctors brought in other doctors they all would frown shout at me in Russian, laugh and slam the door when the left. People were coming and going, laughing and shouting, staring and whispering. At one point everyone left the room. I didnt think this was so funny. All I could do was angrily shout 'Svat minoot niet! (This isnt 5 minutes!) and Balin! (pain)

Finally I heard it. A faint snap! My shoulder was back in place. The doctor poked and prodded. 'Harasho' (ok) he said through his bushy moustache. I got another x-ray just to make sure. Now its just sore and tender. I cant ride my bike. I cant even carry my bags, which is a real pain when you're travelling. Literally.

So instead I spent three weeks in the internetless village of Ishkashim volunteering at the local school. It was a blast. But today my Tajik visa expires. So I have come to Dushanbe (the capital) to plead with the authorities to give me four more days so I can catch my flight to Istanbul on Thursday.

Photos to come...